You're my little dorito
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
