Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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