You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Vodka?
Forever.
Alive.
So much puke
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Drake has all the answers
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
