Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
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