Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
