I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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