I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
