my sisters under your porch take her home
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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