everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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