So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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