This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize