Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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