I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
