I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
