This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
