We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
