Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
