i can't believe i had my finger in that
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
