hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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