How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
