Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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