What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
