We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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