Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
