Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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