You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
