We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
