your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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