Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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