my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
