This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
