I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
