BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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