she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
you had me at cake vodka
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
