there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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