how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
