Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize