i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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