There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
