I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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