I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
