so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
jump out the window naked night went bad
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
