This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
