Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
