honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
