He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
