You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
