we're chasing vodka with high fives
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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