you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
