a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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