I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize