would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize