I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
