Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
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