no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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