Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
