I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
