i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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