Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
You ate ashes out of my bong
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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