I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize