This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
