If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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