did you get engaged???
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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