oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
