I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize