i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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