Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
