he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
my nose is crying tears of wow.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
