do herpes really smell.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
