If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
