have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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